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She Will

So on my Libra scale, I’m weighing sins and forgiveness

What goes around, comes around like a hula hoop

Karma is a bitch?

Well just make sure that bitch is beautiful

– Lil Wayne feat. Drake

I was sitting in Dad’s leather recliner, eating a bowl of Lucky Charms, and watching Criminal Minds on Mother’s Day morning when Momma walked into the living room… Read More

Billy’s Got His Beer Goggles On

He’s on the dance floor yelling, “Freebird”

Singing off pitch but he knows every word

Grabs him another girl he hold on tight

He don’t see ugly

Through blood shot eyes

He’ll fall apart when he gets home

But right now his worries are gone

Cause life looks good, good, good

So good, good, good,

Life looks good, good, good

Billy’s got his beer goggles…on

– Neal McCoy


Contrary to popular to belief, you can argue with stupid.

Stupid, being a drunk six foot two football player sportin’ a “Take a picture, it’ll last longer” muscle tank. Read More

It Wasn’t Me
Posted 4 June 2014 / By MC / Archives/ Featured/ Shenanigans

I’ve been listening to your reason

It makes no sense at all

– Shaggy


Had to go to court today. Read More

What A Girl Wants

What a girl wants

What a girl needs

Whatever makes me happy

Sets you free

And I’m thanking you

For knowing exactly

What a girl wants

What a girl needs

– Christina Aguilera


Earlier this week, as I was leaving work, a guy I’d never seen around the office held the door open for me. As I walked through the open door, he smiled and asked, “How was your day?” “It could’ve been better,” I replied with a small smile, “How was yours?” “The same. Much better now though.” He insinuated that, because we were leaving work, our days had no where left to go but up. Read More

I Am The Highway
Posted 10 April 2014 / By MC / Archives/ Featured/ Materialistic Girl/ Shenanigans

I am not your rolling wheels 

I am the highway 

I am not your carpet ride 

I am the sky 

I am not your blowing wind 

I am the lightning 

I am not your autumn moon

I am the night 

The night

– Audioslave


I sat in a back booth at McDonald’s watching the rain come down.

I thought about that Bible I saw resting on the dash of that woman’s van.

I remembered the last words I said aloud before I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep – just hours ago.

“Dear Lord, please keep my family, friends, and loved ones healthy, happy, and safe. Amen.”

Tears filled my eyes as I wondered who had prayed for me. Read More


Lord, I wonder if I’ll ever change my ways

– Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow


When we all get together… that is when it happens.

“Ohhhh, well looky there all of us are here. You know, all corralled together in the very same spot. Everyone just sitting here with one another, breaking bread, having a drink, shooting the shit, and whatnot. Huh, fancy that! Well, since I do have each of you trapped in a booth, in the middle of a restaurant, and you haven’t even gotten your salads yet… say, let’s plan our next outing!” Read More

Posted 9 December 2013 / By MC / Archives/ Domestic Diva/ Love - Yuck./ Shenanigans/ Shoe Whoreding

Don’t let the bastards get you down

Turn it around with another round

– Rihanna


Well let me just tell you how my weekend went… Read More

Hound Dog
Posted 12 November 2013 / By MC / Archives/ Domestic Diva/ My Little Lovey Dog/ Shenanigans

You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog

Cryin’ all the time

You aint nothin but a hound dog

Cryin’ all the time

– Elvis Presley


Mr. Big was tasked with babysitting his parents’ dog this weekend. Read More

Come Little Children

Come little children, I’ll take thee away; 

Into a land of enchantment… 

Come little children, the time’s come to play; 

Here, in my garden of magic. 

– Sarah Jessica Parker


I feel like I have told you this elevendy-hundred times, but ’tis true, Ballas – I’m a Halloweenaholic!

Every single year, I look forward to pumpkins, and costumes, and cool air, and brightly colored leaves. I heart just barely scary movies about witches, and friendly ghosts, and talking cats. I love the candy, and the tricks, and the treats, and the parties. Ahh, All Hallows Eve – muh fave. Read More

Guys Do It All The Time

I know I left my clothes all over the place

And I took your twenty bucks

No I didn’t get the front yard cut

’cause I had to wash my truck

Will you bring me a cold one, baby

And turn on the TV

We’ll talk about this later

There’s a ball game I wanna see

Guys do it all the time

And you expect us to understand

When the shoe’s on the other foot

You know that’s when it hits the fan

Get over it, honey, life’s a two way street

Or you won’t be a man of mine

Sure I had some beers with the girls last night

Guys do it all the time

– Mindy McCready


Have you ever ordered three airplane bottles of whiskey and a can of Bud Light on an hour-long flight… at one time? Have you ever negotiated a mid-crash make out session between a stranger and one of your oldest guy friends, prior to takeoff? When asked what team you are pulling for at this week’s game, have you ever looked at a plane full of people headed to Milwaukee and said, “Oh, we’re non-denominational.” Have you ever did a burnout at every. single. stoplight you came to in your rented minivan?

Well, have you ever been a girl and went on a “guys trip?” Read More

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