Ice Ice Baby
All right stop, Collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don’t know
Turn off the lights and I’ll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
– Vanilla Ice
I get it.
I have been neglectful.
But I’m back and promise to be better.
Hey, speaking of being better, I have news! That’s probably why you’re here, huh? You’ve been creeping on my Facebook, or my Insta, or maybe even through the windows of my house. You’ve seen the mysterious photos popping up on your timelines and the suspense is just killing you. You’ve probably been taking bets with your fellow MC followers too… “It’s a puppy! Or maybe a ring! A baby! Yeah. There’s definitely a baby in that box.”
Ohmigah! How’d you know?! It is a baby! I totes keep all of my babies in decorative zip-up boxes on the bottom shelf of my office cubbies. Don’t you?
Don’t go all PETA on me.
All jokes aside though, you are all right! Well, except for those of you who guessed a puppy. You guys are wrong. But to everyone else, cash in your bets, you guessed correctly! Yes, even the few of you who put your money on a baby. You win too, ’cause there really is a baby in the box…
It’s small, and new, and fresh. It will be a brand new adventure – something I’ve never done before. What sits in that box is interesting and fun. It will push me outside of my comfort zone, take up time I most likely don’t have to give, and force me to meet new people. But, I couldn’t be more excited to announce…
The launch of my new baby business!
Yes! That’s right, girls! Hi! Hey. What’s up? I’m Miss Clariss, one of Lulu Avenue’s latest and greatest Style Advisors!
Wait. What the Lulu?
Last month, I hosted a jewelry party on Facebook. My Auntie Crystal had recently started selling Lulu Avenue jewelry and I was happy to host her first trunk show. Facebook shows are easy. I’ve done them before. You literally sit in your underwear and play on Facebook for an hour. Sounds like a typical Thursday night, no? The only caveat being you actually get something out of this particular hour of social media-ing.
I quickly sold over $500.00 in jewelry and racked up on hostess perks. By the end of the week, I was placing an order for nearly $300.00 worth of jewelry for only $85.00 (yes, that’s with tax and shipping included). I paid just $14.00 for each of the six pieces I ordered.
My mind was blown.
I did nothing.
I didn’t clean my house, or feed anyone, or even put on pants. I literally played on my phone for an hour, and then a few days later, I received a bunch of really expensive-looking jewels on my doorstep. It was like magic, except better because there was booze.
Why now? Why Lulu?
After the online trunk show I hosted, my Auntie Crystal sent me a message, “Please log into the event tonight and look at how awesome this company is (she had invited me to a Potential Advisors Facebook event)! You know I’m not an easy sell but I am truly amazed at the customer service and support to advisors from LuLu! Just take a look please. No commitment! I know you would do great if you decide to try it!” At the time, I was stuck on a 10-day business trip out in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Do you know what there is to do in Albuquerque, New Mexico, people?
Read through a Potential Advisors Facebook event thread for Lulu Avenue.
I messaged her back, “Saw where if you sign up in February you get the kit for $99.00. Is this true? Did I read right?” “Yes ma’am,” she said, “Worse case scenario, you don’t enjoy it and you still get to keep all that jewelry!”
Humm. “I could use a new hobby,” I thought, “You know, one that’s actually profitable. And I do really like a good party…”
That sneaky b had me. It’s pathetic what family will do to family. In my case, they dangle shiny stuff, liquor, and cash in front of my face and then watch me cave… “I’ll call ya this weekend and we’ll get this thing worked out.”
The Bling Ring
There is nothing I would enjoy more than to merry two of my favorite things: Miss Clariss and Lulu Avenue. I consider of all the great things Lulu offers and could not think of a better audience to share them with! What better women to spend my free time with? What better way to give back to those who have given so much to me?
I feel confident Lulu will be a fantastic way for me to become more interactive with you, my readers. Lulu presents the perfect platform for me to get to know you better, allow us to share stories, laugh together, and create memories with one another. Not to mention, I really like glittery baubles and I feel certain you all do too!
So now, I call upon you, my Ballas.
Interested in hosting a fun get-together? Want to spruce up that jewelry box but don’t want to spend a limb to do it? Really enjoy Facebook stalking? Look, MC’s gotchoo, baby. I am fun, funny, and always carryin’ a bottle opener. Plus, if your party gets too cray – fantabulous! Looks like you just cemented your appearance in next week’s blog post! #fourorfivefollowersfamous
Now, let’s make some shit happen!
To shop my site, go here: http://luluavenue.com/sites/
To book a show (online or in-home) or join my team (the kits are still just $99.00!), email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Just super friggin’ excited about my newest endeavor: Leave love in the comments below!